Monday, December 4, 2017


Sometimes when you are surrounded by the broken you find a crack in your own foundation.

Now what? Patch it? Call for help?

It’s been a rough year in a certain area of my life. I’m cracked, kinda broken, yet still repairable.  I like to rebuild and restore. Find the base of the crack dig out the destructive  issues that could cause a break and fix things before they are broken beyond repair.

Sadly, often  it’s people that are broken in their own foundation that try to crack others. They  bring others down with them, or just use them to stand up.  They do it by what they’ve been taught, or with apathy, spite, jealousy, vanity, and “helpfulness” (the sink or swim, watch you drown, and laugh kind). Whatever the reason they world is full of people that teach ugly lessons. I’ve been a student so long as I picked away at my degree and planned for my future. I love learning, even the hard lessons, and will always continue to do so.

What I’ve learned this year:

Who I do and don’t want to be.  Every interaction with someone negative or positive is a choice. Just as our response is. I choose not to be flippant when someone asks for help, I chose to be helpful. Why? They admitted they needed guidance or a hand. So, I plan to help them, teach them, and show them. Why? Doing this means I helped lighten a load, or helped them gain confidence, and maybe they can share what they’ve learned with others. Helping others does not mean I am less awesome because I helped, shared knowledge, or skill. It means I invest in others and love seeing success.

I am a tall woman syndrome savant. What is this? An accumulation of responses to small people that has become my way, also a play on words. I am a tall woman, and most small men seriously cannot interact me without a show similar to how a rooster would act if someone was after his hens. Seriously, you are still a man, even if you are shorter, if you feel you have to prove some sort of dominance, um...that makes you less manly. Small “man” can also be woman or anyone that somehow feels small inside and overcompensates by show of constant force, trying to prove themselves relevant. This happens when they encounter anyone, younger, taller, smarter, richer, older,  happier, you name it.  It reminds me of a cheer we used to do “They got it, we want it, so take it, take it, take it”. Lol, you can’t take mine, your game is weak.

Move forward. Success can come from failure. Failure teaches a lesson on what not to do next time you try. I tell my kids that every time they want to give up.  Along with a reminder to always try to work smarter not harder, but not to be afraid of hard work.  Moving in is hard work and scary. Trying to be stable or succeed while staying in place becomes redundant.

Sorry world I have hella offense and defense skills. What’s that mean? I’ve got it, or I’ll work for it, and I will win. Ok, I lose sometimes, but I keep playing. My game is played honestly, without cheating, with hard work, smart work, without putting others down, and with teamwork. God is always on my team. He knows I’m broken, and I’m working on it, He’s planning on my progress. So, I pray for those that I don’t want to be like, those I admire, and I move on.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

How'd I Do?

Day 1 of Vegan: I  managed to eat vegan most the day and vegetarian for a couple food items. I had chicken broth for my minstrone soup, a sprinkle of real Parmesan cheese, and caved and ate a yogurt with strawberries. Other than that I did not eat animal products. I was no more hungry than usual, and drank half as much caffeine. This morning I didn't even drink coffee, yet. I had an apple, some old fashioned oats, walnuts and almond milk for breakfast today, and made some chia pudding for later.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Go Vegan?

Yesterday I went to the endocrinologist prepared for war. I quit one of my meds, and knew they would want to try another. Of course she gave me my new med options. Then she said "or" I could go off my meds and go vegan. She assigned a documentary on Netflix called "Forks over Knives" along with the cookbook. So, I am starting my day with new library downloads, Pinterest, a documentary, and morning free of animal ingestion. Yes, coconut oil in my coffee.  Wish me luck, I will try, we will see what my A1c is in August. Today it was 7.3.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Your Civic Mind Teaches By Example

Ways to teach children change can happen using love while being civic minded.

  •  - Volunteer for your community and put others first 

What does this look like?

  • coaching, making lunches for school children or seniors, a shift at the food bank, mentoring, making care packages, after school programs, donate to teachers/school needs, arts programs, read to them, hold a door, or smile.

Spending time complaining about change and hating anyone with a different viewpoint doesn't fill a child with anything but hate and intolerance.

Spending time being the change can meet their immediate needs- it's a safe place to go with friends, a sandwich, kind words, playing catch.

 What are you teaching with your words and actions?

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Use Guns As Tools & Love to Overcome

I am saddened every time the gun issue comes up. I don't  usually push my opinion anyone one or say anything about theirs. When I woke up today I saw guns being blamed for being used for violence. Violence that takes lives and leaves a hole in the hearts of those left in grief.  Why?  To disrupt the freedom of others in the name of what? Hate, agenda, terrorism. I have never met a gun that did violence on it’s own. I have never heard of a time in history where tools weren’t also wielded as weapons. Today I am saddened that once again the gun is blamed for “terror”.

In my America, in my family, guns are a tool.  Our son and daughters have shot them for target practice. They are taught to respect them. They are taught to be thankful for the meat they help bring to the table. They are taught never to point one at someone. They are taught that action has accountability. As we were taught.

They are also loved, hugged, kissed, and trained up to be respectful of others. They are taught that different people live different ways.   I try to teach them people are people. We are not to judge. Today, I shake my head, hold my heart, hit my knees, and choose love. I will hug my children, continue to teach guns as a tool and use love as something that overcomes.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Dear Children, School is Never Out

Dear Children,

I love you. I will push you harder than you push yourself at times. You don't have to like it. I will not apologize for making you do school things online before I let you play a video game or ride your bike. I may even bring home writing paper and make you do it in cursive. I may add keyboarding. If you keep asking why you will get a lecture about synapses.

Yes, again, I know school is out. I also know what it's like to move to a different school district to find what I thought I knew is remedial in comparison. No, we don't have current plans to move. Yes, I will fill the gaps I see in you education. My mother did it for me, she also didn't allow video games at all. #persevere

At least you get to do it on a computer. Your older sister used to have worksheets sitting on the table for her. Basic multiplication, division, grammar, social studies, science, and money will not be something you spend time thinking about. They will be reflex facts that are as quick to answer about as the color of sky and grass. You're welcome. You don't even have to thank me in twenty years when you realize how others find “basic” things difficult.


Your Mom

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Lay It Down

Some days listening to Christian radio starts journeys I never set out on.  The music, the advertisements for serving others and the messages of hope and love are unbelievable.  I keep something to write with scribble almost illegible notes to myself to review later. I've jotted down scripture, songs, organizations and inspiring words. I keep a small Bible in the car and sometimes I  have to read the verse I heard and those surrounding before I exit the car.  I am amazed by this time where just by being intentional and spending my drive time letting others share the word lights me on fire.

What's my fire right now?  A song by Sanctus Real called Lay It Down.  As I listened to the words it became the idea I need to study and share.  
Listen: Lay It Down by Sanctus Real
Lyrics link - KLove Radio

I'm reminded of a Bible Study Live event I participated in during an online Bible study through Proverbs 31 Ministry. They told us to draw a cross on a sheet of paper and write out what we need to ask forgiveness for or to  write “Leaving it at the foot of the cross.” Wondering what types of things to let go of or confess? Worldly things, things that separate us from accepting the love and grace Jesus gave to us. Things we are forgiven for but we refuse to quit carrying the burden of.

I remember this exercise. I don't remember what I wrote. I remember creating a hill of words of my brokenness at the bottom of the cross, praying and tearing it up.  I remember now that that visual, physical exercise led me to remember to lay it down regularly and accept the redemption offered. So, today I did it on a note card.

Life is busy, but there are so many different ways to take the time for prayer, praise, and worship. What happens when you exchange your burdens for peace? You find thanks in the mundane. You smile while your back hurts and your hands are dirty. You find something you can share, a testimony, a relationship so good you want to pour love onto others. 

Lay It Down:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” -1 John 1:9 NIV.

Share the Love:
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. -Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV).
Can you Lay It Down? Let me know how taking a few minutes with this song and the exercise helped you leave it at the cross.