Monday, December 4, 2017


Sometimes when you are surrounded by the broken you find a crack in your own foundation.

Now what? Patch it? Call for help?

It’s been a rough year in a certain area of my life. I’m cracked, kinda broken, yet still repairable.  I like to rebuild and restore. Find the base of the crack dig out the destructive  issues that could cause a break and fix things before they are broken beyond repair.

Sadly, often  it’s people that are broken in their own foundation that try to crack others. They  bring others down with them, or just use them to stand up.  They do it by what they’ve been taught, or with apathy, spite, jealousy, vanity, and “helpfulness” (the sink or swim, watch you drown, and laugh kind). Whatever the reason they world is full of people that teach ugly lessons. I’ve been a student so long as I picked away at my degree and planned for my future. I love learning, even the hard lessons, and will always continue to do so.

What I’ve learned this year:

Who I do and don’t want to be.  Every interaction with someone negative or positive is a choice. Just as our response is. I choose not to be flippant when someone asks for help, I chose to be helpful. Why? They admitted they needed guidance or a hand. So, I plan to help them, teach them, and show them. Why? Doing this means I helped lighten a load, or helped them gain confidence, and maybe they can share what they’ve learned with others. Helping others does not mean I am less awesome because I helped, shared knowledge, or skill. It means I invest in others and love seeing success.

I am a tall woman syndrome savant. What is this? An accumulation of responses to small people that has become my way, also a play on words. I am a tall woman, and most small men seriously cannot interact me without a show similar to how a rooster would act if someone was after his hens. Seriously, you are still a man, even if you are shorter, if you feel you have to prove some sort of dominance, um...that makes you less manly. Small “man” can also be woman or anyone that somehow feels small inside and overcompensates by show of constant force, trying to prove themselves relevant. This happens when they encounter anyone, younger, taller, smarter, richer, older,  happier, you name it.  It reminds me of a cheer we used to do “They got it, we want it, so take it, take it, take it”. Lol, you can’t take mine, your game is weak.

Move forward. Success can come from failure. Failure teaches a lesson on what not to do next time you try. I tell my kids that every time they want to give up.  Along with a reminder to always try to work smarter not harder, but not to be afraid of hard work.  Moving in is hard work and scary. Trying to be stable or succeed while staying in place becomes redundant.

Sorry world I have hella offense and defense skills. What’s that mean? I’ve got it, or I’ll work for it, and I will win. Ok, I lose sometimes, but I keep playing. My game is played honestly, without cheating, with hard work, smart work, without putting others down, and with teamwork. God is always on my team. He knows I’m broken, and I’m working on it, He’s planning on my progress. So, I pray for those that I don’t want to be like, those I admire, and I move on.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

How'd I Do?

Day 1 of Vegan: I  managed to eat vegan most the day and vegetarian for a couple food items. I had chicken broth for my minstrone soup, a sprinkle of real Parmesan cheese, and caved and ate a yogurt with strawberries. Other than that I did not eat animal products. I was no more hungry than usual, and drank half as much caffeine. This morning I didn't even drink coffee, yet. I had an apple, some old fashioned oats, walnuts and almond milk for breakfast today, and made some chia pudding for later.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Go Vegan?

Yesterday I went to the endocrinologist prepared for war. I quit one of my meds, and knew they would want to try another. Of course she gave me my new med options. Then she said "or" I could go off my meds and go vegan. She assigned a documentary on Netflix called "Forks over Knives" along with the cookbook. So, I am starting my day with new library downloads, Pinterest, a documentary, and morning free of animal ingestion. Yes, coconut oil in my coffee.  Wish me luck, I will try, we will see what my A1c is in August. Today it was 7.3.